"Hijab Butch Blues" by Lamya H.

“I’ve learned to reframe telling people as inviting in, instead of coming out — inviting into a place of trust, a place for building — and it feels like a waste of emotional energy to tell straight people whom I don’t expect to understand my queerness, don’t intend to count on for advice or support in this area. But what I’ve been noticing about people I haven’t invited into my queerness is that it introduces a barrier between us. What do I talk to these people about? How do I share feelings and intimacies without revealing this huge part of myself? Who am I without this queerness that now pervades my life, my politics, my everything?”

Themes: Religion; Gender; Sexuality; Love; Romance; Platonic Relationships; Identity; Belonging; Race

Discussion Questions:

1. What do you think of the structure of the memoir? Did its relative non-linearity make sense to you?

   1. Did you enjoy how Lamya H. braided her experiences with the stories of prophets? What did this braiding help reveal about her own experiences? How did they work in conversation with one another?

2. What is the difference between "coming out" and "inviting in"? How does the book explore those two?

3. Lamya H presents religious figures as living, dynamic people. How does this relate to your previous understanding of or experience with religion?

4. Why does Lamya H. never seem to really question having her faith at all during this memoir?

5. If you've read Stone Butch Blues, in what ways (besides the title) is this memoir in conversation with that book?

6. Can secrecy be an act of love?